Four Riders of The Digest-O-Lypse

Aasmund Ryningen
2 min readMar 1, 2021


To start off this beautiful month of March, we’ll focus on a very common problem that more people than you think struggle with, namely digestive issues.

Hence the subject line.


One of the most embarrassing things people struggle with is their digestion system.

This becomes especially apparent as they start working corporate office jobs which involve long days, lots of work and a poor diet.

You can probably imagine it for yourself. If all you do is sleep, wake up, go to your job, sit in front of a computer all day long and eat bad food, things are bound to happen. And not necessarily good things either. I’m talking about diarrhea, constipation, gas production and bloating.

Ie., ‘The Horrible Four’.

Or as I like to call it, ‘The Four Riders of Digest-o-lypse.’

Nobody wants to be around someone who farts or whose stomach makes funny noises.

Would you?

Of course not.

In fact, I bet you’d prefer that they fix their problems before entering the workspace, ready to fill the air with their fart particles.

Whatever is your problem though, gassing, bloating, constipation or diarrhea, here’s your chance to put an end to your misery.

Because, [REDACTED] contains 3 probiotics that can help you get your digestion issues right; Lactobacillus Gasseri KS 13, Bifidobacterium Bifidum G9 1, and Bifidobacterium longum MM 2.

And as if that wasn’t enough, [REDACTED] has over 140 years of trusted digestion expertise…

So this isn’t some ‘new miracle cure’ you’re about to take.

It’s all the knowledge accumulated over 140 years delivered to you in the form of capsules.

And if that ain’t good enough for you, you’d perhaps like to know how doctors routinely have to stick sharp objects up people’s arses, removing polyps in their intestines because they block the s*** passage.

Taking a capsule sounds better than having someone put cold metal up your butt, right?

Just go here to start your improved colon health life today:



And there we go. Of course I had to play around a little with the name to make it fun and interesting.

People who read the subject line will immediate click on it because they’d like to find out what this is all about. Plus, having digestive issues and struggling with your leavings really feels like an apocalypse sometimes. Anyone who’s had diarrhea can attest to that.

Anyway, it’s a fun, short and informative email. And to cap it off, I included a customer testimonial, where the user said how doctors had to perform colon surgery. It didn’t sound pleasant at all.

It’s probably more pleasant to take a capsule a day, won’t you say?