Some tough mafia soft lessons for ya

Aasmund Ryningen
4 min readApr 11


One of the things I see a lot of people regret in the later stages of life is not having kids.

In fact, I’m reminded of a scene from ‘Sopranos’ as I’m writing this piece. The character Paulie [if you haven’t seen the show it’s about a bunch of NY mob guys who aren’t exactly into ethical businesses], who’s getting up there in age, comes home to his mom, who’s naturally even older than him.

‘Hey ma’, whadda ya watchin?’, Paulie asks his mom.

He then walks over and sits down on the couch beside her and the camera zooms out of the house they’re in and the scene ends. I think this is the end scene in not *the* final episode of the show, but one of the final episodes.

That was all Paulie had. His mom. And nobody else. He didn’t even bother starting a family, looking for a good girl to turn into a wife and spread his seed. Perhaps because he was infertile? Perhaps because he felt he didn’t ‘have time’? Or perhaps because he just didn’t want to commit and didn’t feel ‘free’ if he had kids he needed to take care of?

Similarly, the final scene in the final episode of the show ends with Tony Soprano, the boss of the Soprano Family, ends with him sitting around the table in a diner, conversating with his wife and two kids. Yes Tony has been unfaithful to his wife a lot of times and there have been quite a few arguments. Not exactly the brightest family in the world. But he has *a family* to spend time with.

And this is exactly my point.

Seeing Paulie sitting lonely by himself as an old man, who ‘never had the time’ or who ‘never bothered’ to start a family just looks sad.

Joe Rogan touched on this subject as well. Especially how older men as they get into their 60s and 70s do not have anyone to spend time with because their friends are either dead, old or are spending time with *their* families. They previously enjoyed their freedom in their 30s and 40s because they didn’t make the proper investments. They probably regarded it as sacrifice. I disagree. I think you should view it more as an investment. An investment that will hopefully pay off in the long run.

Oh, and let’s not forget the childless women. The suffragettes. Or as they’re called, the crazy cat ladies.

Do you think this is what they intended their lives to be like?

Do you intend your life to be like the one you’re living currently?

If you want a family, are you prepared to make the proper investments? To have your life turned upside down in an instance? To dedicate a lot of Time and Energy into raising a human being from scratch?

What about if you’re fat and you need to go to the gym or train at home? Are you willing to make going to the gym and eating healthy an integral part of your life?

What about if you’re broke and you need more money. Are you willing to sacrifice a lot of Time and Energy into getting your money right? To building a business? To actually put your heart and soul into what you’re doing, in spite of other people laughing at you?

What about if you’re…

…I think you get the idea, right?

In terms of *whatever* you desire in life, which you do not currently have, there will be a period where you need to put a lot of Time and Energy into working hard on your Mission, whatever that is. I am inspired by Ben Settle in this regard. Find a Mission to pursue and then relentlessly follow it. It means you have to forego a lot of other things, especially in the beginning. But it will be worth it. If you execute properly.

Anyway, you don’t want to be like Paulie in life, who sort of came to the conclusion of how he *could* have had a better life, as he was sitting beside his old mother who probably didn’t have that many years left.

You want to be more like Tony Soprano who besides all of his imperfections at the very least had a family, and had invested *some* of his time wisely.

Obviously do not become a mobster. Be a law-abiding citizen.

But you get the jist of what I’m saying here, again…

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